I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
