how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
