yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
