talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
