There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
