So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
