Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
