I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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