Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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