He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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