I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
