your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
