I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
