I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i barfeds in our rink
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
