Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
