It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
