it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
