you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
