There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
