He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
