i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
