I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
