capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
