do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
