I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
