My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
