fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
