Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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