Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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