I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
