no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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