But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
grandma shit on top of the toilet
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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