I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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