I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
