NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
