I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Enjoy the penises
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
