Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
