Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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