Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
