Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
