I don't think brook has ever known best
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
