i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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