And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
