I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
