i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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