i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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