you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
