Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
