4 words: hood of his car
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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