If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
