he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
