so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
where are my eyebrows?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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