Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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