she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
