I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
